He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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