you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I am one with the molecules
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
