remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
