i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
you inspire me to be a worse person
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
