ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
