Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize