Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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