im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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