For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
