no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize