hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
