Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
