One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
