My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
