i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
tell me about the fingering
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