me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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