Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Sext me about skeletons
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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