I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
