ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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