i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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