So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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