Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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