where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
