All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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