sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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