Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
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