I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
