please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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