Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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