He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
