Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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