i just had sex bonerless
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize