just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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