you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
