I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
