I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
