pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
