Is it normal to miss your booty call?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
