I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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