"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
