I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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