I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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