Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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