Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize