Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
