You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize