In the future we'll all be gay
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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