Sacagawea was the original milf.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
