So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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