I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
