After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
