Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Randomize
