Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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