you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
